Tuesday, June 5, 2007

should you put that in there

Last week, I went in for my annual physical. It was like a party! Here's my story.

I'm greeted by the nurse, who is the size of my pinky finger, who takes me back to get my weight and height. God bless her, she started off by underestimating my weight. I said, "you are kind, but you need to move that up one." So she did. My weight, at its final balancing point was staring at me...it was a number that I have only seen in pregnancy (horror of all horrors), so the madness needs to end. The lovely little nurse then says, while reading my weight, "Great!" Listen, at a certain point, you can take perkiness too far. She, my blogging friends, had crossed that line. "Ummmm...no. This is not great. Actually, this is down right horrible, and let's not pretend that it's great," was my thought.

Then, it was on to height. Hey, guess what! More good news...you're shrinking. I used to be 5'6" - now I am 5'5 1/2". That's right; I lost a half inch from my stature. I knew it would happen, but I really thought it would take many years!

On to the formal part of the visit. The doctor enters, and I am in such a state. I am quite sure I left her with the impression that I am a completely depressed, in need of treatment, 33 year old woman. For most of the visit, I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes. Luckily, I was able to keep them at bay. I assumed the position, and what did I see…an orangutan staring at me in poster form above the bed. How's idea was that??? I'm guessing it was not a woman's idea of a great thing to look at in the throes of a pap and breast exam! I mean really, if you can't find something beautiful to look at, just take it down.

As the pap was getting started, my doctor was giving me a play by play. As she was putting the speculum in, she said, "this light keeps shorting. Let me try again." to which I responded, "should you put that in there with a short?" At this point, the doctor, who really didn't show much personality to this point, began to laugh. Ummm...hello, not funny. I do not want a light with a short in it anywhere near my business! She went on to explain that the light was on the outside, so it was okay.

All in all...it was a crappy experience. Who really enjoys their annual physical anyway?


Dana said...

How horrible! An orangatang? I might could see this at the dentist or the pediatrician but NOT there.

I think it was right around 33 that I shrank too, btw.

Tori :) said...

I would love a nurse to say "GREAT!" at my weight. I remember going for my annual a few years ago and the dr. said, "So, how do you feel about your weight??" I told him, "My body is so used to gaining when I visit you (while preggo), it didn't know what to do..." I was so embarrassed.

Anonymous said...

OMg, I SO feel your pain!

I had my annual physical last week as well. I think my doc was talking about her upcoming colonoscopy. You know, regular woman to woman stuff. @@.

And I have been shrinking for a few years as well. I used to be 5'5". I don't even hit 5'4" now. And of course, my feet have GROWN! i'm sure my nose has, as well. (Don't people say that your nose continues to grow?)

Dustanne said...

I hear you with the weight thing...I haven't even seen this weight in pregnancy...lol
I am so far, not shrinking, but don't feel bad, maybe she just didn't measure right.

I had my first pap with a male doctor just this year...he is younger than I. What fun. I just layed there and chatted away, but I think he was more nervous than me...lol

I came across your blog from Elle's blog. It is great that there are Christian's out there that aren't ashamed to say so :o)

Anonymous said...

Yeah that sounds depressing. There is nothing worse than the great annual to hit every area that you could possibly be depressed and uncomfortable about. And an orangutan? Who's brilliant idea was that? I would've had to ask.

Tracy said...

Hahaha! I neede that laugh - thanks Chrissy! :)