Phobias

I have so many phobias, that it’s a wonder that I can even function as a normal human being. This is quite possibly the longest post I will ever write.
And now a note to my mother – if you read to the part at the bottom, I am wondering if I ever told you about these fears of mine as a child???
What Lies Beneath????
Tracy’s post reminded me of yet another phobia that I only need to worry about in the summer. Natural bodies of water, and man made lakes and ponds for that matter, scare the heck out of me. They are beautiful to look at, and I don’t mind sitting at their edges and enjoying their peaceful surroundings, sounds and views – but I am afraid to venture into their murky depths. I know what your thinking, not all bodies of water are murky – no, you’re absolutely correct, they are not. I live near Lake Sunapee, which is supposed to be one of the cleanest and clearest lakes in all of New Hampshire, but whilst in the middle of the lake, I can not see the bottom. Therefore, it scares me to now end.

Here’s how my twisted little mind works. If you can’t see below or around you in the water past a few feet, who knows what the heck is down there waiting for a little nip or nibble on your toes. I am really, really afraid of this. – I’ve seen the movies Jaws and Lake Placid; I have heard about the Loch Ness Monster and Tessie in Lake Tahoe. There are countless other reports of lake monster lurking about lakes all over the world. I believe these people – I really, really do. Aside from the reported sightings and no actual facts, Tracy’s family found turtle like creature in their pond. While a turtle is not necessarily a scary thing, it could quite possibly mistake my candy apple red painted toe nails for something tasty! NO THANKS!!!!

Ghosts
While I am on phobias, I’ll share one that particularly scares the bejabas out of me! I am frightened petrified, (bone chilling petrified, can’t sleep petrified,will not be alone petrified), by the idea of ghosts and hauntings. Where this came from, I have not a clue. I can remember, even as a small child being scared out of my mind of ghosts. My mom has this scary beautiful antique chest that used to be in our upstairs hall. I always hated going upstairs by myself at night because I was sure there was a ghost living in there. In addition to that, I never wanted to sleep with my door open because my room was at the top of the stairs and my door looked down on the staircase. I just knew if I looked down these stairs in the middle of the night that I would see a ghost coming up the stairs. It’s the same thing with closets. I can not sleep with them open. It’s not the boogy man that scares me, it’s the ghosts that might be lurking in there. These things go beyond a childhood paranoia for me and still scare me. To this day, I will not sleep with the closet door open. I make Todd get out of bed and close the doors if I see them open even a crack, which really annoys him. Here’s the silliness in my fear: if there really are ghosts in there, is a little thing like a closet door going to keep them out???

Also, my grandparents live on a beautiful ranch next to a river. In my home town there was an urban legend about a lady that would walk the river in the middle of the night screaming for her children that drowned in the river, and she would take any child she would find near the river and drowned them too. “YIKES!!!” This was almost more than my little mind could take. The extra room in my grandparents’ house is upstairs by itself. I was always so scared to go up there and sleep, because I just knew this woman was going to find me. This fear of their upstairs was also coupled with the fear of the wild boar head on the wall in the area off the bedroom; I made them take that down every time I slept over.

One night, about 8 years ago now, I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. On my way back into the bedroom, which was literally 5 steps (small apartment) I got the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and chills up my spine. I literally ran and jumped into bed, being as petrified of these things as I am. The next morning we woke up and Todd said to me, “I had a dream about my mom last night. She told me you were the one for me and I should marry you.” His mom had passed away about 10 years before that. HOLY CRAP! I couldn’t even process what he was saying to me. All I could think about was the uneasiness I felt in the middle of the night. I am positive it was not a dream he had, but that it was a visit. Looking back, I can see there was nothing to be frightened of and her visit was actually very nice…but still, YIKES!!!

Okay, now that I have scared the crap out of myself for even writing this….I have work to do.