Holy Candle

We are having a big agency wide celebration tomorrow – this is my first year, but apparently it’s a pretty big deal. The party committee decided they wanted to put Yankee votive candles at everyone’s seat as a party favor. This, in theory, is a very nice idea. However, I volunteered to put the agency labels on these fine candles. Why did I volunteer when I am so darn particular about scents??? I’m not really sure. I’m the new kid on the block, and wanted to make people like me help.

There were 4 scents: Cucumber Cantaloupe, Juicy Peach, Honeydew and Vanilla Lime. I have had the Honeydew in my home, so I already knew it’s scent – and I threw it away after burning it just once. I love the smell of fresh peaches, but the smell of artificial peach throws me right over the edge – it is right up there as one of my least favorite smells. As a matter of fact, I think it falls in line right after vomit and shi shi – yes, that is how much I dislike it! The Cucumber Cantaloupe was tolerable, but not something I would ever burn. The only candle I actually liked was the Vanilla Lime. It's a new scent, and it's rather delicious. Unfortunately, it was overpowered by the other scents.

Anyway, I digress. I had 250 of these little odoriferous goodies in my office this morning awaiting labels. The Fiscal Supervisor walked in and said, “Holy Candle!” I agree, Holy Candle! The only thing that motivated me to label these little things so quickly was knowing that the faster I labeled, the faster they could depart my office. And depart they did, but their smell still lingers like a bad fart passing of gas.